J. Lynn (Fredrick) Stanley-Haney

J. (Judith) Lynn (Fredrick) Stanley-Haney, age 81, of Storrs, CT passed away November 22, 2021, in her home from natural causes. Lynn is survived by her husband, Dr. John Haney; siblings, Leah Singer, Charles, and Michele Fredrick; children, Bethany Stanley-Kirschenbaum and David Kirschenbaum, Timothy Stanley and Leigh Frost, and Andrew and Tamar Stanley; and stepchildren John R. Haney and Jeffrey and Christine Haney. Lynn had eight grandchildren and was excited to welcome her first great-grandchild to the family earlier this year.

Lynn was born in March 1940 in Orange, New Jersey. She attended Middletown, New Jersey, public schools and then attended Hartford Hospital School of Nursing. After working as a nurse in Boston for several years, Lynn and her former husband, Dr. Irving Stanley, settled in Storrs, Connecticut, where they raised their three children. Lynn became an adult medicine Nurse Practitioner and worked for the University of Connecticut Infirmary for more than fifteen years. While at UCONN, Lynn worked closely with the University’s Women’s Health Clinic and co-developed and implemented a 24-hour sexual assault crisis service for students who were physically abused and sexually assaulted. She became Director of Nursing - Assistant Director of UCONN Student Health Services in 1982, a position she held until she retired from the state.  Lynn began her second career practicing women’s health as a Nurse Practitioner in private practice and school-based health clinics. Lynn also received her Master’s in Psychology and Therapy from Goddard College and began co-authoring Protocols for Nurse Practitioners in Gynecologic Settings in 1982, a nationally recognized protocol manual.  Demand was so great that Lynn and her colleagues continued to publish new editions for 23 years, finishing with the 11th edition in 2015. In the last phase of her career, Lynn specialized in psychiatric care in practice with her husband John until retirement and continued to support and work with several organizations that advocate for women and girls.

Lynn was a “Jersey Girl” turned faithful New Englander. She was a woman before her time who relished the opportunities to poke at authority and brush past the social boundaries of her era. She was independent, vibrant, energetic, whip-smart, and suffered no fools. Lynn was a fashion plate, an incredible hostess, and a steadfast friend.

Lynn parented her three children with a gentle touch, offering unfailing support. She guided them diligently and intentionally gave them exposure to many incredible things - especially in arts, literature, and academics - but she did it without pressure or prodding, trusting them to follow their interests, letting them make mistakes and find their path in life.  

Lynn loved summer, the beach and her Jersey roots. While her children were growing up, there were annual trips to Cape Cod and the New Jersey beaches where she was most at home. As a grandmother, Lynn cherished hosting her children and grandchildren in Barnegat Light, NJ, as an annual passage of summer. Lynn also grew to love the Maine woods and trips up to Moosehead Lake and other adventures with her loving husband, John. Whether enjoying the peace of an evening boat ride or just reading a book with the Loons calling in the distance, Maine was one of her favorite places to be.

In her final years, Lynn was self-deprecating and appreciative of the efforts of her husband, children, caregivers, and friends to make her life as fruitful as possible. Moreover, she was an excellent patient! She was never bitter and was always appreciative of her station in life.

Her family will receive relatives and friends on Friday, November 26, 2021 from 10:00am to 12:00pm at Potter Funeral Home, 456 Jackson St. Willimantic. Her funeral service will be Saturday, November 27, 2021 at 10:00am at the funeral home with burial to follow at Storrs Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, please consider gifts to the non-profits that Lynn supported: Altrusa International, Roots of Development, and Planned Parenthood of Southern New England. For an online memorial guestbook, visit www.potterfuneralhome.com

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